TORTOISE

Wind your neck in, you tiny brained reptile. 

TORTOISE 

 

Wind your neck in, you tiny brained reptile.  

 

Is it true you can live for a year without a brain?, and for a month without a head? How is it that you live so long without a hippocampus?

 

The tortoise is its reputation suggests: long living, slow, reclusive, with that hard protective shell. The oldest confirmed record is one hundred and eighty eight years but there are tortoises that are believed to have lived to two hundred and fifty years. This longevity may be due to the low metabolism, or the low metabolism may be what causes their slowness.  

 

The tortoise mostly eats grasses and weeds, and needs little water. In the wild the age of the tortoise can be viewed in the rings on the carapace, because, like their companion in longevity: trees, rate of growth depends on the abundance of food, which in turn depends on the season.

 

The tortoise may have the reputation of being the oracle in certain cultures, oh dear, this is very unlike the reality of this tiny brained reptile. The high point of sophistication between tortoises is their one form of communication: ramming. They ram in combat, fair enough, but, foolishly, they ram in courtship too. There ends the lesson.

 

All this said, welcome to the House of Masks, tortoise, my old friend.

 

A gap in the fence

A solitary figure meanders along the rudimentary path caused by being leeward of the wall surrounding the House of Masks.  

 

It is unusual to see anything more than the occasional creature passing this wall, not even enough creatures pass by to establish a path of any note. It is unheard of to witness a person here for this place is but a grey void on any map, digital or ancient. It is not a route from here to there. It is not a route from anywhere to anywhere.

 

The solitary figure passes through the wall as if by magic, but it is not magic. There is a gap, it is difficult to say if this was once an entrance (there are no signs of a gate) or if this was just negligent construction by a builder who assumed no one would ever come this way. From inside the gap is hidden by the old stump, behind the stump is an old wooden box on a pole. On the door of the box behind glass to protect it from the elements is a note.

 

TO PASS THIS POINT YOU: 

1 MUST BE COMPLETELY NAKED, AND

2. MUST WEAR THE MASK IN THIS BOX, AND

3. MAY NOT SAY ANYTHING, NOT A SINGLE WORD.

FEEL FREE TO LEAVE YOUR BELONGINGS IN THIS BOX.

 

The solitary figure slowly struggles through each of the words, reading the note twice to ensure understanding. There are three things. To be naked. To wear a mask. To be silent.  

 

The recluse is used to silence, is used to the solitude of one's own company, of appreciating the beauty in everyday things to be found in nature and in society. And is used to getting unexpected directions. This is the lot of the traveller, the wanderer: each new place brings with it new customs, new traditions, new challenges, but with each new challenge is a certainty that gives the wanderer great strength, the wanderer knows that before long the wanderer will wander away, wander towards a new place, and so begins a new cycle. 

 

The recluse does not care about clothes or masks.

 

The recluse will simply follow the instructions.

 

The recluse removes each item of clothing with care, shaking it out and folding it neatly before placing it in the box. A wanderer knows not to be wasteful, each item of clothing may be used by the next person to pass this way, by the next person in need, whomever that person may be. One item, two items, three items, four items, five. Shoes at the bottom, socks tucked into them, dress resting on the top. No undergarments, a wanderer does not always have a choice.

 

The naked recluse draws on the TORTOISE mask, a tight fit that fixes the head in an unusual pose, the chin higher than normal so the shoulders stoop slightly to compensate.

 

The naked recluse with the TORTOISE masks walks on, this is the right thing to do.

 

The old tree stump

 

The naked recluse with the TORTOISE mask takes a moment to round the old tree stump. Once it was a great tree with a formidable girth, now it is an old stump with inconvenient girth.  

 

The naked recluse with the TORTOISE mask stops, silent, observing. There is a figure leaning against the stump, on the sunny side. A naked prole with a HARE mask who seems not to notice the company, or perhaps does not care, whose hips are rocking slowly back and forth causing the penis to flop left, then flop right, then flop left.

 

The naked recluse with the TORTOISE mask watches, and waits. Perhaps waiting for an instruction, perhaps waiting for the right moment to act, perhaps watching the flaccid penis flapping, perhaps waiting for a formal introduction. There are no clues to suggest there is a plan of action, or even thoughts about a plan for action, all that can be observed is the waiting.  

 

The naked prole with the HARE mask languidly looks up, then looks away again, continuing the hip movement and the cock flopping left, flopping right.

 

A voluptuous naked woman with a FOX mask walking along the perimeter of the field has noticed the pair at the old tree stump and thinks about the famous race, and fleetingly hopes if they are to race it would be something other than that predictable challenge, but is interrupted by the tannoy, who puts a tannoy in a field: GATHER ONE GATHER ALL FOR THE FINE PERFORMANCE OF THE TORTOISE AND THE HARE.

The voluptuous naked woman with the FOX mask stops, watches from afar.

The naked slight man with the HARE mask stretches, stands, and marches round the old tree stump.

The naked recluse with the TORTOISE mask remains motionless.

 

On steady and race

THE TORTOISE AND THE HARE REIMAGINED 

HARE ridiculed TORTOISE full of softness and curves

With a hand to the crotch this is all you deserve

You can’t even orgasm without a shot from my gun

It’s what makes us HARES better, patriarchy fun.

FOX set the race: last to come gets up the bum.

Off TORTOISE diddled on a slow and steady strum

While HARE beat a fury, flashing the meaty stick

Pausing for the camera, shot the cutest dick pic

Meanwhile dear TORTOISE came and came again

And what about HARE, deserve-d anal pain.

 

A body of water

The naked recluse with the TORTOISE mask happens upon the body of water. A large and calm body of water with a rocky beach, it could be a lake or an inlet from the sea. It is a place of calmness, a place of acceptance. A place to forget the pressures of achievement and striving for success, it is an achievement and a success simply to be here.

The naked recluse with the TORTOISE mask forgets. Perhaps it is the sound of the waves lapping against the pebbles, perhaps it is the sun warmed rock, forgetting allows you to live in the moment, to luxuriate in the warmth of the sun on the skin, to relax to the smooth firmness of the stone, to appreciate the moment, this moment. It is the effect of the House of Masks: a strange kind of forgetting that truly makes the past a foreign land. A disconnect between the event and the memory, a lifting of the weight of the past, a numbing combined with a pleasure of the moment.  

The naked recluse with the TORTOISE mask tells a story to one of the seabirds, or another, sometimes it is difficult to tell the seabirds apart. It is the life of a carefree young girl walking home with her parents from the school play. The girl had played the wicked witch. The father asked the girl to laugh her wicked laugh for the one more time, the girl lifted her chin to let out her cackle but the sound that came was a screech and a thump, an almighty clatter of a car mounting the curb and crushing the family. It was months later in the hospital that the event was explained to the girl: the death of the mother and the father, the consequences for the drunk driver, the processes and procedures, the prospects and the expectations, but the girl got confused. A lobotomy Will do that to you.

The naked recluse with the TORTOISE mask knows other stories, short little stories about animals that get on with things. Stories about animals with problems, solving problems. Simple stories with just one problem and one solution, just a few words ending in a moral guidance.

The naked recluse with the TORTOISE mask thinks this place reminds her of those stories, like she has fallen into the stories, but stories have changed, grown strange. Estranged.

The naked recluse with the TORTOISE mask lives like life is a story about a simple problem which will soon be followed by a solution, and a moral guidance. It is surprising how well this approach works. All those stories, self help, spiritual a and religion all added together when the simplest approach gives the same happiness and quality of life without the fuss and fanfare.

THE TORTOISE AND THE EAGLE TALE SHALL BE TOLD NOW.

The naked recluse with the TORTOISE mask lies back on the smooth rock enjoying the sun.

 

On fantasy and fallacy 

THE TORTOISE AND THE EAGLE REIMAGINED

TORTOISE luxuriated like only tortoises could

Sunbathing lazily between the seabirds stood

Yawned and declared If only I could fly

I’d feel the sun like Icarus up high

I’ll give all the treasures for anyone to try

Oh I, said EAGLE, I’ll take you to the sky

And up they went, up up up and again

Just below the clouds EAGLE let go

And down crashed TORTOISE in shattering pain

Oh, lamented poor TORTOISE, oh dear and oh no.

 

 

Is it true you can live for a year without a brain? And for a month without a head? How is it that you live so long without a hippocampus?

The tortoise is its reputation suggests: long living, slow, reclusive, with that hard protective shell. The oldest confirmed record is one hundred and eighty eight years but there are tortoises that are believed to have lived to two hundred and fifty years. This longevity may be due to the low metabolism, or the low metabolism may be what causes their slowness.

The tortoise mostly eat grasses and weeds, and needs little water. In the wild the age of the tortoise can be viewed in the rings on the carapace, because, like their companion in longevity: trees, rate of growth depends on the abundance of food, which in turn depends on the season.

The tortoise may have the reputation of being the oracle in certain cultures, oh dear, this is very unlike the reality of this tiny brained reptile. The high point of sophistication between tortoises is their one form of communication: ramming. They ram in combat, fair enough, but, foolishly, they ram in courtship too. There ends the lesson.

A gap in the fence
A solitary figure meanders along the rudimentary path caused by being leeward of the wall...

An old tree stump
The naked ascetic woman with the TORTOISE mask takes a moment to round the old tree...

A body of water
The naked ascetic woman with the TORTOISE mask happens upon the body of water.  A...

House of Masks
Welcome to the house of masks, an exploration of hedonism and failure through the...